Unproductivity is my demon.  Because of it, because of my complete inability to just FOCUS on getting something done, I feel like I am completely wasting my existence - from the blood pumping through me to the flow of hair coursing out of my head.  I am not physically disabled.  I have perfect arms and legs and hands and feet and eyes and ears.  So why don’t I use them to their fullest potential?  I am capable of being in perfect health, being perfectly energetic, being perfectly creative, being perfectly content with my seventeen year old existence.  I need to start treating my body the way it deserves to be treated.  I need to value myself as more than just a thought.  All I do is think.  I think I should work out today.  I think I should raise my hand in class.  I think I should finish this story I started.  Or this painting.  Or this fucking college application.  

When it comes to short term things like these, I need to start making quick decisions and sticking by them.  When I look back at the past few months, my memories have started to blur into one and that realization is what is causing me to put my foot down today.  I won’t let my life be anything less than memorable from here on out.  I want my life to be bright and colorful, with thick lines that distinguish each day from the one before it and the one after it.  I won’t let the colors or the lines blend.  I will be productive.